Loss

I have been such a mess since my mom has passed away. I feel nothing and everything all at once. Loss is truly horrible. I dream about my mom a few times a month, and when I do I wake up feeling even more sad.

I was my mom’s caretaker so I’m not only grieving her as her daughter. I’m grieving her as her caretaker as well. I spent 16 years making sure my mom was okay after my died died and 8 of those years taking care of her with her lung disease.

I’m not new to loss. At this point we know each other very well but my mom’s loss is an ache that wont go away. Even for a little while. Every time I smile my heart aches. Every time I laugh my soul cries.

That lame quote time heals all wounds is a lie. Time doesn’t heal. You just learn to cope.

Loss is the price you pay for love and it’s a big price.